Jack sat on the couch in his living room, half-listening to the round-faced girl on his left. She had been talking for some time, though about what Jack could not say. He was only waiting for a gap in the conversation. Petunia sat in the reclining chair, listening attentively. In the corner of the room, soft music emanated from a large electric screen, along with some vague geometric patterns representing the progression of a particular playlist, one the round-faced girl had chosen.
Jack eyes alighted on a comic book resting in a small, complicated display to his right. Picking it up, he found the pages of the comic to be covered in a translucent black slip, giving the impression that the viewer was wearing sunglasses. There was a small price sticker in the corner. Hmm, thought Jack, maybe I could afford this after all.
Jack sensed an interruption in the flow of speech and decided that he would speak.
"Uh, yes..." he began, his voice slightly and inexplicably slurred, "I just had two questions, or things, I guess, to say. The first is, that I think it's amazing that you have music from the battle with Giyga - "
"Oh yeah, Giygas!" interrupted Petunia excitedly.
"Yes, from the final battle with Giygas," finished Jack, pointing at the screen.
"Oh, that's really nothing," said the round-faced girl.
"The second thing is this. I like this." Jack held up the darkened comic book.
The girl's face widened into a smile. She slid over on the couch and nestled up against Jack's arm affectionately, where she pulled out a handful of photographs and began holding them up for the pair to examine. Great, thought Jack awkwardly. He'd been afraid of this. Somehow he'd led this girl on unintentionally. He'd have to put a stop to it.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Final Three
The car careened around corners through dark and busy metropolis, desperately trying to outrun the pursuers. Behind, a massive armored bus with an accordion hinge followed closely. The occupants on the bus were part of a rogue group of mutants who were somehow able to operate outside of the law, and thus engaged in various acts of crime and terror. Inside the car, the passengers knew that some dreadful fate awaited them should they fail to flee, an outcome that was becoming increasingly likely.
The car tried to take a corner too fast and started to skid out of control before crashing into a streetlamp. The mutants' bus, unable to stop quickly enough, swerved wildly onto the sidewalk and rammed into a nearby building, landing on its side. Jack and the other passengers erupted from the car, vainly hoping they would be able to hold out. He picked up a box of candy and emptied its contents onto the street, ready to fling the pieces at the mutants, whereupon the pieces would transform into tiny, defensive soldiers.
A few of the mutants poked their heads out of the toppled bus, their scarred, white faces flashing viciously eager expressions.
"Leave us alone! Have some decency, for goodness' sake!" yelled Jack desperately, preparing to throw the candies. But it was too late; the mutants fired a massive cannon and in the following chaos overwhelmed and subdued the passengers before they even had a chance to react. They were bound and pushed roughly up against the side of the building. By this point a crowd had gathered, sympathetic but too fearful to intervene.
Suddenly, a shaft of light lanced down from the heavens, illuminating the top of a long pole extending outward from the roof of a building. Everyone, including Jack and the mutants, looked up to see an ethereal figure perched regally on the pole, looking down on the crowd.
"I will now reveal the final three. The time has come! Their destinies have been determined, their fates revealed to them, so that they may bring balance. Behold! Your champions!" she intoned, pointing to the roof of the building across the street, directly above the mutants and their prisoners, where three other poles had appeared.
The center pole was lit, revealing a black, caped figure, along with the words "32, Batman." The man struck a pose, to the cheers of the crowd beneath. Next, the pole on the right was illuminated. "31, Alder," read the text, and behind there stood a smallish man dressed in steampunk garb and wearing a demure expression. Lastly, the pole on the left was lit. An enormously tall bearman stood on the pole, perched erect on his hind paws and roaring defiantly at the night sky. The flashing text read "6p'ho." The crowd was ecstatic.
The bearman dropped from his pole, landing horizontally on a parked car and crushing it beyond recognition. He stood and walked over to the mutants, who were frozen with fear and disbelief. The bearman drew a thin rapier and casually started stabbing and slashing the mutants. His strikes were, by necessity, surgically accurate, for the mutants were standing behind their captives. After the last mutant had been dispatched, the grateful captives were freed.
One girl captive approached the bearman and said indignantly, "Thanks, but you could have hurt us!"
"I only hurt bad people," rumbled the bearman in response.
The car tried to take a corner too fast and started to skid out of control before crashing into a streetlamp. The mutants' bus, unable to stop quickly enough, swerved wildly onto the sidewalk and rammed into a nearby building, landing on its side. Jack and the other passengers erupted from the car, vainly hoping they would be able to hold out. He picked up a box of candy and emptied its contents onto the street, ready to fling the pieces at the mutants, whereupon the pieces would transform into tiny, defensive soldiers.
A few of the mutants poked their heads out of the toppled bus, their scarred, white faces flashing viciously eager expressions.
"Leave us alone! Have some decency, for goodness' sake!" yelled Jack desperately, preparing to throw the candies. But it was too late; the mutants fired a massive cannon and in the following chaos overwhelmed and subdued the passengers before they even had a chance to react. They were bound and pushed roughly up against the side of the building. By this point a crowd had gathered, sympathetic but too fearful to intervene.
Suddenly, a shaft of light lanced down from the heavens, illuminating the top of a long pole extending outward from the roof of a building. Everyone, including Jack and the mutants, looked up to see an ethereal figure perched regally on the pole, looking down on the crowd.
"I will now reveal the final three. The time has come! Their destinies have been determined, their fates revealed to them, so that they may bring balance. Behold! Your champions!" she intoned, pointing to the roof of the building across the street, directly above the mutants and their prisoners, where three other poles had appeared.
The center pole was lit, revealing a black, caped figure, along with the words "32, Batman." The man struck a pose, to the cheers of the crowd beneath. Next, the pole on the right was illuminated. "31, Alder," read the text, and behind there stood a smallish man dressed in steampunk garb and wearing a demure expression. Lastly, the pole on the left was lit. An enormously tall bearman stood on the pole, perched erect on his hind paws and roaring defiantly at the night sky. The flashing text read "6p'ho." The crowd was ecstatic.
The bearman dropped from his pole, landing horizontally on a parked car and crushing it beyond recognition. He stood and walked over to the mutants, who were frozen with fear and disbelief. The bearman drew a thin rapier and casually started stabbing and slashing the mutants. His strikes were, by necessity, surgically accurate, for the mutants were standing behind their captives. After the last mutant had been dispatched, the grateful captives were freed.
One girl captive approached the bearman and said indignantly, "Thanks, but you could have hurt us!"
"I only hurt bad people," rumbled the bearman in response.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Mentor Walk
Jack walked on the path with his mentor, Pith.
"How's the training going? You know, it's really very good exercise," said Pith.
"Yeah..." replied Jack uncertainly. In reviewing the training, he'd found it somewhat lacking.
"You getting your heart rate up?"
"Yeah. Walking helps," said Jack. The pair continued strolling along the path. Pith was a middle-aged man with a slightly balding head and a stubbly chin. He spoke with youthful pretension not yet tempered by the wisdom of old age, but he nevertheless had significant knowledge to offer.
"Soon you'll be using this equipment," offered Pith, pointing to a playground on the right. "You ever ridden a rail?"
"No," said Jack, imagining the act.
They walked further and further, passing through the lowlands and making their way into the mountains. All around, tall green peaks thrust upward into the clouds, casting long shadows over valleys and cozy villages. Jack and Pith paused on the path overlooking one such town to look at a volcano erupting in the distance.
The volcano was either in the early or late stages of eruption, for it was merely spouting thin, white smoke. However, it was causing significant seismic activity, and Jack and Pith watched with sadness as the tremors loosened a decorative buttress on the central cathedral of the town, an ancient stone construction.
"Oh no!" said Jack. As the buttress fell to the ground, he mourned the slow but inevitable decay of such an historic building. The cathedral dwarfed all the other building in the village and was covered in various primitive glyphs and carvings. From somewhere in the massive building, a bell struck twelve times.
"You know," said Pith, gazing wistfully at the cathedral, "this is my favorite clocktower."
"Is that because it has no clock?" asked Jack.
"Exactly," murmured Pith.
"How's the training going? You know, it's really very good exercise," said Pith.
"Yeah..." replied Jack uncertainly. In reviewing the training, he'd found it somewhat lacking.
"You getting your heart rate up?"
"Yeah. Walking helps," said Jack. The pair continued strolling along the path. Pith was a middle-aged man with a slightly balding head and a stubbly chin. He spoke with youthful pretension not yet tempered by the wisdom of old age, but he nevertheless had significant knowledge to offer.
"Soon you'll be using this equipment," offered Pith, pointing to a playground on the right. "You ever ridden a rail?"
"No," said Jack, imagining the act.
They walked further and further, passing through the lowlands and making their way into the mountains. All around, tall green peaks thrust upward into the clouds, casting long shadows over valleys and cozy villages. Jack and Pith paused on the path overlooking one such town to look at a volcano erupting in the distance.
The volcano was either in the early or late stages of eruption, for it was merely spouting thin, white smoke. However, it was causing significant seismic activity, and Jack and Pith watched with sadness as the tremors loosened a decorative buttress on the central cathedral of the town, an ancient stone construction.
"Oh no!" said Jack. As the buttress fell to the ground, he mourned the slow but inevitable decay of such an historic building. The cathedral dwarfed all the other building in the village and was covered in various primitive glyphs and carvings. From somewhere in the massive building, a bell struck twelve times.
"You know," said Pith, gazing wistfully at the cathedral, "this is my favorite clocktower."
"Is that because it has no clock?" asked Jack.
"Exactly," murmured Pith.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
Death Cult
Jack entered the vacant upper floor where the death cult operated. The members were young and evil-looking, and the floor was covered in caked blood. In the corner, a frightened victim had been forced into a crouch, stammering incoherently. One of the cult members raised an axe. Jack covered his eyes but was unable to block out the sickening, gushy thunk of the axe. He ran out of the building with horror.
Out in the alley, Jack wept. He wept about the child in the upper floor, the child in custody of the death cult. His grief and anger were acute. Resolving to take action, he called the police.
"911, what's your emergency?" said the operator.
"Yes, I need the police right away. There is a death cult, they need to be stopped," growled Jack through his tears. The operator was quiet for a moment.
"Sir, we can't just send out a squad car, there's procedures we have to follow..."
"I need the police NOW! They have a child in there!" shouted Jack.
"Ok, sir, we can send out a car soon, but not immdiately..."
Jack hung up angrily. He went back to the upper floor, now abandoned. He frantically searched for the child, and it wasn't long before he found it sleeping in a shoebox. It was extremely tiny, barely three inches tall, but it seemed alright. Jack swept it up and left the evil building, reminiscing about all the times he'd been there without knowing its true purpose.
Out in the alley, Jack wept. He wept about the child in the upper floor, the child in custody of the death cult. His grief and anger were acute. Resolving to take action, he called the police.
"911, what's your emergency?" said the operator.
"Yes, I need the police right away. There is a death cult, they need to be stopped," growled Jack through his tears. The operator was quiet for a moment.
"Sir, we can't just send out a squad car, there's procedures we have to follow..."
"I need the police NOW! They have a child in there!" shouted Jack.
"Ok, sir, we can send out a car soon, but not immdiately..."
Jack hung up angrily. He went back to the upper floor, now abandoned. He frantically searched for the child, and it wasn't long before he found it sleeping in a shoebox. It was extremely tiny, barely three inches tall, but it seemed alright. Jack swept it up and left the evil building, reminiscing about all the times he'd been there without knowing its true purpose.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Project Mishap
Jack sat down in his chair. The stadium was very large and full almost to capacity. In fact, there'd been a line several blocks long outside, but luckily Jack had been able to circumvent it. To his right sat Jack's two partners. Everyone in the stadium had been teamed up in groups of three. Jack's group was seated fairly high up, but they had a good view of the proceedings.
Behind them, one trio pulled out small models and began explaining their project. This worried Jack; he hadn't known about this part. Did this mean his trio had to have models? How was he to have known that?
Eventually, Jack's two partners started to present. Sure enough, they both had small dioramas of what looked like a biblical garden scene. They didn't strike Jack as particularly impressive, but either way, Jack didn't have one.
Once his partners were done, all eyes turned to Jack.
"And you, Jack?" prompted the emcee from the center of the arena. Jack leaned forward towards the microphone, trying to plan what he was going to say. He thought that perhaps some eloquence might soften the backlash of public opinion against him.
"It seems," Jack began slowly, his amplified voice echoing off the stadium walls, "that I misunderstood the directions. I don't have a project, and for that I apologize. I will get working and present one, uh, post-haste...yeah."
"Any idea what your project will be?" yelled someone from behind Jack.
"Oh, I don't know," replied Jack with heavy and obvious sarcasm, "I was thinking some kind of diorama? Or a model, maybe?"
To Jack's satisfaction, there were a few light, appreciative chuckles throughout the stadium, and oddly, uproarious and prolonged laughter from a small pocket of people further down.
Behind them, one trio pulled out small models and began explaining their project. This worried Jack; he hadn't known about this part. Did this mean his trio had to have models? How was he to have known that?
Eventually, Jack's two partners started to present. Sure enough, they both had small dioramas of what looked like a biblical garden scene. They didn't strike Jack as particularly impressive, but either way, Jack didn't have one.
Once his partners were done, all eyes turned to Jack.
"And you, Jack?" prompted the emcee from the center of the arena. Jack leaned forward towards the microphone, trying to plan what he was going to say. He thought that perhaps some eloquence might soften the backlash of public opinion against him.
"It seems," Jack began slowly, his amplified voice echoing off the stadium walls, "that I misunderstood the directions. I don't have a project, and for that I apologize. I will get working and present one, uh, post-haste...yeah."
"Any idea what your project will be?" yelled someone from behind Jack.
"Oh, I don't know," replied Jack with heavy and obvious sarcasm, "I was thinking some kind of diorama? Or a model, maybe?"
To Jack's satisfaction, there were a few light, appreciative chuckles throughout the stadium, and oddly, uproarious and prolonged laughter from a small pocket of people further down.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
A Plan
Saul Tigh stretched out on a cot in the crowded, ad hoc sickbay.
"My wife sent me. This is a frakking joke," scowled Tigh to another patient. "All we need to get better is some of their blood - human blood."
"Well, why don't we just get some? It would be simple. Just load a bunch of us onto a shuttle. They think there's only twelve models. They'll never suspect us," smiled the patient nefariously as he and Saul Tigh looked at the hundreds of unique cylons crowding the sickbay.
"My wife sent me. This is a frakking joke," scowled Tigh to another patient. "All we need to get better is some of their blood - human blood."
"Well, why don't we just get some? It would be simple. Just load a bunch of us onto a shuttle. They think there's only twelve models. They'll never suspect us," smiled the patient nefariously as he and Saul Tigh looked at the hundreds of unique cylons crowding the sickbay.
Two Marbles
The house church complex was divided into several long chambers, mostly bereft of furniture. There was a central, enclosed chamber with two narrow, branched hallways extending north and south into the outer parts of the house church. Jack and his friends and allies had been scurrying around the building for some time.
Jack reached the central chamber once more, when suddenly an enormous dragon dropped down and blocked the north hallway. People screamed in alarm as they tried to put distance between themselves and the beast. Jack tried to dodge past the dragon, but each attempt was blocked. Frustrated, Jack turned around and left through the south hallway. He needed to retrieve the contents of his backpack, primarily the two marbles. It was in the adjacent atrium on the east side of the building.
He reached his backpack without further difficulty, but as he was digging around trying to find the marbles, he felt the need to flee again. He hurried past the other people, not sure where he was going but trying to find a safe way to double back to the backpack. He worked his way back to the central room, where the dragon was still blocking the north hallway, but when he tried to leave he discovered a gorilla was now blocking the south exit.
"There's a gorilla! There's a gorilla! We're trapped!" he shouted to the others in the room with him.
"You have to find those marbles!" implored a girl.
"Don't worry, I will. I know where they are. At least, I think I do..." said Jack. He knew exactly where they were, but wasn't sure it was a good idea to reveal that fact. The marbles were very powerful.
Jack's allies distracted the dragon long enough for him to slip past. Unable to immediately return to the backpack, he went outside the building and wormed through the crowd to the front gate, where Petunia and The Mother stood.
Jack caught a glimpse of Starbuck through the crowd. She was approaching him, walking with a slight limp.
"Starbuck, thank goodness!" said Jack.
"Hi, Jack," she said uncertainly.
"Hey, we really need you in there, there's a gorilla..." said Jack hurriedly. He started to steer her towards the building, but she shrugged him off.
"Uh...I don't know if I can..."
"Oh," said Jack, startled a bit, "right, of course...if you don't think you should..." She looked at Jack with remorse.
"Here," he said, "guard my mom and sister. Keep them safe."
"Ok," replied Starbuck.
Jack made his way back into the building. More gorillas had appeared and were wandering around the complex, adding to the chaos. A few people ran out through a glass door, followed closely by several of the simians. Jack was finally able to return to his backpack. He quickly grabbed the marbles and exited through the side door onto a small, wood deck. It was over. Things began to quiet down in the building.
Dingland Apollo approached and said, "Good job. We did it."
"Yeah," said Jack, relieved.
"Hey," began Dingland Apollo, "I just want to thank you for a good season. It might not have come off without you."
"And I just want to thank you for your excellent acting," said Jack, holding back tears.
Jack reached the central chamber once more, when suddenly an enormous dragon dropped down and blocked the north hallway. People screamed in alarm as they tried to put distance between themselves and the beast. Jack tried to dodge past the dragon, but each attempt was blocked. Frustrated, Jack turned around and left through the south hallway. He needed to retrieve the contents of his backpack, primarily the two marbles. It was in the adjacent atrium on the east side of the building.
He reached his backpack without further difficulty, but as he was digging around trying to find the marbles, he felt the need to flee again. He hurried past the other people, not sure where he was going but trying to find a safe way to double back to the backpack. He worked his way back to the central room, where the dragon was still blocking the north hallway, but when he tried to leave he discovered a gorilla was now blocking the south exit.
"There's a gorilla! There's a gorilla! We're trapped!" he shouted to the others in the room with him.
"You have to find those marbles!" implored a girl.
"Don't worry, I will. I know where they are. At least, I think I do..." said Jack. He knew exactly where they were, but wasn't sure it was a good idea to reveal that fact. The marbles were very powerful.
Jack's allies distracted the dragon long enough for him to slip past. Unable to immediately return to the backpack, he went outside the building and wormed through the crowd to the front gate, where Petunia and The Mother stood.
Jack caught a glimpse of Starbuck through the crowd. She was approaching him, walking with a slight limp.
"Starbuck, thank goodness!" said Jack.
"Hi, Jack," she said uncertainly.
"Hey, we really need you in there, there's a gorilla..." said Jack hurriedly. He started to steer her towards the building, but she shrugged him off.
"Uh...I don't know if I can..."
"Oh," said Jack, startled a bit, "right, of course...if you don't think you should..." She looked at Jack with remorse.
"Here," he said, "guard my mom and sister. Keep them safe."
"Ok," replied Starbuck.
Jack made his way back into the building. More gorillas had appeared and were wandering around the complex, adding to the chaos. A few people ran out through a glass door, followed closely by several of the simians. Jack was finally able to return to his backpack. He quickly grabbed the marbles and exited through the side door onto a small, wood deck. It was over. Things began to quiet down in the building.
Dingland Apollo approached and said, "Good job. We did it."
"Yeah," said Jack, relieved.
"Hey," began Dingland Apollo, "I just want to thank you for a good season. It might not have come off without you."
"And I just want to thank you for your excellent acting," said Jack, holding back tears.
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
Robot Love
The girl transformed into a slightly chubby female villain, but a villain nonetheless. The original villain, also a female, was aghast.
"All this happened from drinking too much?" asked an observer.
"Yeah, and when you could have had this instead," said the skeletal robot.
The scene transitioned. There, framed against a backdrop of metallic tables and cabinets, was the skeletal robot's head and torso. He convulsed with pleasure, thrusting in rhythm, his chrome features doing their best to display passion. Whirs, clicks and beeps echoed along the walls, and a variety of cheap-sounding 16-bit sound effects emanated from somewhere off-camera. The shot panned back to reveal the female robot, an exact duplicate of the male robot, lying underneath him on the table.
"Baby, oh baby," he said robotically.
"Oh, baby," echoed the female robot.
The male leaned in closer to her, his gears spinning in simulated ectasy. Beep, boop went the soundtrack. He opened his mouth and aligned it with his partner's, and together they began gnashing their metal dentures in a comical pantomime of a french kiss.
"All this happened from drinking too much?" asked an observer.
"Yeah, and when you could have had this instead," said the skeletal robot.
The scene transitioned. There, framed against a backdrop of metallic tables and cabinets, was the skeletal robot's head and torso. He convulsed with pleasure, thrusting in rhythm, his chrome features doing their best to display passion. Whirs, clicks and beeps echoed along the walls, and a variety of cheap-sounding 16-bit sound effects emanated from somewhere off-camera. The shot panned back to reveal the female robot, an exact duplicate of the male robot, lying underneath him on the table.
"Baby, oh baby," he said robotically.
"Oh, baby," echoed the female robot.
The male leaned in closer to her, his gears spinning in simulated ectasy. Beep, boop went the soundtrack. He opened his mouth and aligned it with his partner's, and together they began gnashing their metal dentures in a comical pantomime of a french kiss.
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